I’ve decided to finally start my first feature animation!!!
It’s a big step forward for me. I’ve wanted be a filmmaker ever since I was 13, and an animator since I was 16 and realised that I would need to turn to animation to create the kind of works I wanted. It’s been a long time coming, however I’ve only recently felt capable of actually accomplishing a work of that scale.
I won’t be able to start full-time production until early next year as I’ve still got to finish the short films and exhibitions I’ve got in the works and finally graduate from Art School. However I’m going to be reading a HEAP of books to get me prepared and writing the script which will take me a while to get right.
I’m feeling a mixture of terror and excitement at the prospect of making my debut feature. The fear is mainly the fear of failure, thoughts like “what if it’s a really bad film and I lack any talent whatsoever” are pretty constant. I’ve learnt not to listen to those voices though. Failure is a possibility, but if I fail I’ll just make another film and another until I get it right.
Even though I’ll be doing my best, I don’t expect my first feature to be the ‘best possible work’ I’ll EVER create. To paraphrase M Dot Strange; you have to treat your art like you treat people. If you meet a person and you think it’s the only person you’ll ever meet, you’ll be all clingy and weird and scare them off. However if you realize they’re one of many people you’ll meet, you’ll be more relaxed, honest and your relationship with them will be better. Same goes with art. Make the best art you can, but don’t be afraid to make choices. You can make more art if you get it wrong the first time ><
So what kind of feature do I want to make? Well here’s a few broad points I’m going to stick to.
- I want to create personal cinema depicting my world view.
- I want to create my own unique aesthetic.
- I want to engage my audience yet not bend to mainstream notions and ideologies represented in “hollywood” or corporate controlled media. (This doesn’t rule out subversion of mainstream media.)
- I want to create a project that will excite me enough to work on for 3-4 years.
One of the big reasons I’ve always wanted to be a filmmaker, was to create films I wanted to see, to somehow combat the vast expanding pool of SHIT that is the majority of mainstream media, to make someone sitting in a dark room somewhere feel something and maybe help them. I’m pretty invested in actually saying something or exploring something through my films. I don’t want my films to be purely entertainment, I want it to function on different levels too. Every film I’ve really enjoyed and every filmmaker who’s work I follow does this.